Autobot Party
by ThreeInOne
Summary: Sequel to Decepticons Gone Wild, name based off of Phineas and Ferb song "Candace Party". The Decepticons want revenge for the Autobots spreading that video of them all around the computer network. So, they decide to get even...by spiking their drinks! This can't end well. There is one couple if you want to know: BreakdownXAirachnid. Takes place after "Loose Cannons".
1. Autobot Party

**((Dun dun dun! Hello everyone! I know I posted _Decepticons Gone Wild _only hours prior, but I started on a sequel immediately, and I liked where this one went. In my opinion, the Decepticons wouldn't take Ratchet spreading the video everywhere without a fight, so this is their revenge! Once again, there is drunken Autobot OOC, maybe some human OOC, but the latter is strictly a mistake. Please don't kill me if I mess up some.**

**Note: There is, as always, Cybertronian cursing. This also takes place after "Loose Cannons", so Wheeljack is staying with the 'Bots temporarily. Also Dreadwing has joined, though he doesn't appear. Yeah, that was a mistake. Though two of my favorite 'Cons do appear, and their names are Rumble and Frenzy, the dynamic duo!...in my head at least. I may get them OOC, so please, tell me if I do.**

_**DISCLAIMER:**_**I do not Transformers Prime(though I wish I could), Steve the Vehicon(I still love him though), the term 'Mini-cons', 'Firestar doesn't like waffles' video, GI Joe or Snake Eyes(though the latter I would love forever), LOLCats, _Amanda _by Boston, _Bohemian Rhapsody _by Queen, _The Day the Music Died _by whoever sang it, _Celebrate Good times _by whoever sang it, ninjas, Phineas and Ferb, _Don't Stop Believing _by Journey, _Dancing Queen _by ABBA, _The Gambler _by Kenny Rogers, ****_Crazy Train _by Ozzy Osborne, and YouTube. Whew. That's long.**

**Enjoy.))**

Soundwave, if you were not so important to our cause, I would gut you like an Autobot," Megatron growled, glaring at his top communications officer. On the plus side, Ravage was now allowed to stalk the halls as he pleased, and that meant a lot more Vehicons were now in the medbay. "Thanks to your filming, we are now the laughing stocks of the entire galaxy."

"Next time Steve brings Energon, don't drink it, Lord Megatron," Soundwave advised in his normal monotonic voice. "He's always been the biggest prankster around."

"I can't feel my servo," Said Vehicon moaned as he clutched his leg, which Ravage had properly chewed once everyone sobered up. Two other Vehicons carried him to Knockout.

"What we will need is to get revenge on those fragging Autobots who dared to mock us," Megatron thought aloud, while simultaneously shooting his best 'Go to the Pit and die a slow, fiery death' look at Soundwave. "And I think you have given me the perfect idea on how to do it, Soundwave." Megatron gave his officer a thoughtful look. "Release your Mini-cons, Rumble and Frenzy. I have a job for them."

~.~.~.~.~.

"Watch it, glitchhead!"

"You watch it! Get your servos out of my rotator cuffs."

"Oh, I'm sorry, does that bother you? How about this?"

"Ow! Stop that!"

"Then you stand straight and stop squirming!"

Had any Autobots been in the Energon storage room at that time, they would've been shocked to see two small (well, to them) 'bots in there, one purple and blue, the other red and black. The first one, Rumble, was perched on his brother, Frenzy's, shoulders, trying to slip the chemicals Megatron had given him into the Energon cubes without falling on his aft.

That wasn't easy. Frenzy kept twitching, flinching under his brother's weight.

"I can't help it," Frenzy snapped. "You are heavy, you slagger. I'd cut back on the Energon if I were you."

"Woops," Rumble feigned innocence as he swung his servo back, heel hitting Frenzy in the face. "My servo slipped."

"Yeah right," Frenzy scowled, readjusting. "Just hurry it up, before someone comes."

"Don't rush me," the two 'bots moved around the room, still balanced on one another. "And…done! Let's get out of here."

Rumble dropped off Frenzy's back, only for Frenzy to punch him in the face once he hit the ground.

"Son of a-" Rumble rubbed his optic. "What was that for?"

"Sorry. My servo slipped," Frenzy mimicked.

"I do not sound like that!" Rumble protested. "You're channeling more Starscream than anyone else. Although, I can do a good Megatron impersonation, if you'd like to hear it."

He cleared his voice, then said in a booming tone: "'I'm Megatron, and I think I'm so special because I fight Optimus Prime, the high and mighty lord of the Autobots. Fear me or I'll crush you with my cannon that's so aft-big it's not physically possible for me to lift my servos. I'll kill you all in your recharge!'"

Both had to laugh at his interpretation, but fell silent immediately at a clacking of heels.

"Autobots!" Frenzy hissed. "Hide!" The two bumped into each other and ducked beneath a shelf, peering out.

"-I still say that was a stupid thing to do, Bulk," Arcee was saying to the green lug as they came in. "You should've called for backup the moment you encountered Dreadwing." Bulkhead opened his mouth to talk but 'Cee cut him off. "And no, Wheeljack didn't count as backup. If Optimus hadn't been there, I don't even want to think about what might've happened."

"Dreadwing?" Rumble whispered. "Like that big bad warrior Dreadwing, brother of Skyquake?"

"I guess so," Frenzy replied. "But pipe down. We don't want them to hear us."

They missed the rest of the conversation by talking, but it was evident the two Autobots had taken the spiked cubes out of the room. Perfect.

"Oh yeah, that's how it's done," Rumble high-fived his brother.

_Are you two done fragging around or do you want a little more quality time with the Autobots? _a voice asked both mentally. Even though communications didn't work through the jammer the Autobots had in place, Soundwave still shared a symbiotic connection with the two, one which spanned many miles.

_Uh, yeah, we're done. We'll send you our coordinates for a Bridge when we get outta here. _Speaking aloud now, Rumble turned to his brother. "How do we get outta here?"

"What do I look like, a GPS?" Frenzy retorted.

"You've got the personality of one," Rumble replied.

The two squabbled all the way out.

~.~.~.~.~.

Jack was five minutes from his shift being over when it happened.

"Welcome to KO Burger, where every meal is a knockout," he deadpanned. "How may I help you?"

"I FOUND A CARROT!"

Jack pulled back, startled by the familiar deep voice yelling at him. "Uh, what?"

"Hi Jack," the voice said. "I came to visit you at work, 'cause you're just that special."

"Optimus?" Jack realized. "What's going on? Has something happened to Arcee?"

"Nope. Snake Eyes isn't real, so she's got no trouble," the red and blue semi-trailer sped up to the window. "Time to go."

"But my shift isn't over," Jack had a bad feeling about this.

That was when Optimus snatched him up, stuffing him in the driver's seat and strapping him down so tightly he couldn't move.

"I'm in your drive-thru, stealing your employees!" the Prime yelled, before screeching off so quickly he left a skid mark on the asphalt.

"Whoa," Jack was taken off guard at the sudden acceleration. "Optimus." The truck was in the wrong lane, heading straight for oncoming traffic.

"Don't worry. I got it," Optimus's definition of "getting it" was to transform around all those witnesses, jump over the vehicles and their stunned drivers, and transform back in the right lane.

"Optimus!" Jack had already figured out something was extremely wrong with the Autobot leader. "What's going on?"

"I just really love your company," Optimus admitted. "Hey, that makes me think of a song. Do you wanna listen to one?"

"No, I'm-"

"Too late!" Prime interrupted him. "_I'm gonna take you by surprise and make you realize, Elita. I'm gonna tell you right away, I can't wait another day, Elita. I'm gonna say it like a mech and make you understand, Elita. I love you._"

"Who's Elita?" Jack managed to ask before Optimus hit the curb, rear-ended a parked car, and sped down another street.

"_I see a little silhuetto of a mech!_" He warbled on, clearly not wanting to be interrupted. "_Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the fandango? Thunderbolts and lightning, very, very, frightening me! Galileo, Galileo, Galileo, Figaro- magnifico!_"

"Hello? Mom?" Jack was on his cell phone, having squirmed as much as possible and managed to dial someone. "Optimus has gone nuts! He's taking me for a cruise downtown!…What do you mean giant robot? Oh, yeah, yeah he did transform. It's already on the news? Yeah, well, I'm stuck in the middle of it all. And he's really starting to annoy me with those songs-will you cut it out, I'm trying to call someone!"

"_And they were singing 'bye bye, Miss American Pie. Drove my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry. Them good ol bots were drinking high-grade Energon, singing this'll be the day that I die! _Everybody!" Optimus weaved in and out of traffic, slid onto the sidewalk and smashed several signs.

"High-grade?" Jack repeated. "Like alcohol. Optimus, are you drunk?"

"No! Not at all. I swear to drunk I'm not Primus!" he added quickly, confirming Jack's thoughts.

"Great. So not only are you drunk, but you're driving. And you're the car. Mom, can you contact Agent Fowler or something, get me out of the death trap that Optimus has turned into?"

"Aw. No ending the ride until I say to," Optimus managed to jerk to the side enough so that Jack lost his phone, and the seatbelt constricted his movements.

"_Jack? Jack, are you there? Jack!_"

"Optimus, if we stop the ride and go back to base, you can get more Energon," Jack tried.

"Ooh, good point. Let's go there my way!" Optimus, having already clipped several cars, made a lot of illegal turns, and done things Jack's mom would've killed him for if he'd done himself decided to duplicate his transformation from before. Only this time, he put Jack on his shoulder, and headed straight through traffic.

"Hey!" Optimus snapped at some gawking drivers. "I'm walking here."

"And there's us making the local news," Jack sighed. He had managed to recover his phone and dialed a new number. "Miko? Yeah, it's Jack…Oh. You've been watching the news. Well, uh, pick up Raf. Me and Optimus are on our way. Yeah, no, you can't miss us. We'll be there soon." He closed the phone. "Optimus, we need to go to Miko's."

"Good. I love Miko. Almost as much as…Elita. Why, Elita, why?" he cried in despair over someone Jack had no idea who it was.

It made him wonder who thought that the high-grade was a good idea in the first place.

~.~.~.~.~.

Luckily, Prime had transformed back to alt mode when they approached Miko's house, so nobody stared.

"Goody, more passengers," Optimus threw open a door and Miko and Raf climbed in. "Welcome to _Autobot_, the Ride! Hey, wanna bet I can go over 90 miles an hour? Cause I can!"

Miko stared at the dashboard. "Did Optimus just ask that?" she finally said. "No seriously, please tell me I misheard him."

"You didn't," Jack was rubbing his temple irritably. "You're lucky you weren't here on the way in. He kept complaining about someone named Elita One."

"I loved her!" the Prime wailed. "And yet she stayed on Cybertron with those, those, those girls! Why? She could've been with me. I would've cared for her."

"Do robots even have PMS?" Miko was trying to figure out what was wrong.

"He's drunk," Jack established.

"How?" Raf seemed just as confused.

"Something called high-grade Energon," Jack shrugged.

"Bee told me about that," Raf nodded. "It's like human alcohol. But why would they be drinking it?"

"High-grade?" Optimus perked up at the word. "Where?"

"Not here," Jack interrupted. "Back at base."

"Whee! Let's go there now!" Before any of them could argue, Optimus slammed the doors shut, and rocketed off.

~.~.~.~.~.

"That was fun, wasn't it?" Optimus asked the kids cheerfully as they all walked into base, the Prime being careful not to step on them.

"I didn't know it was possible for a semi-trailer to pop a wheelie," Jack sounded shell-shocked.

"I threw up on your seats," Miko admitted.

Raf didn't say anything, but he looked just as frazzled.

"Welcome to the party!" Ratchet cheered happily (no, you didn't misread that), dumping confetti on the four. "The Autobot party! Cheers!" He took another swig from his Energon cube.

This very action by the medic shocked the humans.

"Oh my gosh," Miko gaped. "Who gave Ratchet a personality transplant?"

"Where are the others?" Jack asked, more concerned about the other 4 Autobots.

"Who knows?," Ratchet hiccupped. "They come and go. Come and go. Nothing to worry about. We're all celebrating."

"_Celebrate good times, come on_," Optimus interjected.

"What happened to you guys?" Raf asked. "How could you have gotten drunk?"

That was when Arcee jumped in. She had painted herself completely black and was moving around warily.

"Shh," she noticed everyone looking. "I'm a ninja. Look away."

"Not the ninjas!" Wheeljack, who had just come in, panicked, running in terror. "Anything but the ninjas!"

"My first victim," Arcee beamed, before chasing him down screaming, "Come back here, I want to poke out your optics!"

"No!" Wheeljack cried. "Not the optics! Anything but the optics!"

"She's fun," Optimus noted.

"I know," Ratchet grinned. "Who wants to help me set up the disco ball?"

"I do!" Prime and Ratchet went to do just that.

"Oh-kay," Miko stared again. "Hey, there's Bulkhead. Maybe he can help us make sense of this."

Sure enough, the green-clad giant was coming into the room, with Bumblebee behind him. "Hey Bulk! What's going on?"

He paused. "Eating cereal looks like this," he finally said.

"And he's no better than the rest of them," Miko sighed. "What about Bee?"

"Bumblebee?" Raf said hesitantly.

Bumblebee made a noise that sounded definitely like a cackle and several rapid beeps after that.

"Uh, he said for us to call him Megatron, and that he's going to blow up the planet with an Energon bomb," Raf translated. "Should I be worried?"

That was when Wheeljack ran into the room panicking, only for Arcee to tackle him to the ground. Everyone watched as she dragged him off, his clutching servos grinding shallow grooves in the floor.

"The enemy of the platypus is man," Bulkhead nodded like it was perfectly rational.

"Something tells me we're going to be in for a looong night," Jack groaned.

~.~.~.~.~.

"Prime!" the elevator door into the base slid open and Agent Fowler marched in. "What in the Sam hill did you think you were…doing?" he trailed off at the sight in front of him.

"Welcome to the party Agent Fowler," Jack waved. He and the others were sitting on the couch, Miko and Raf caught up in a video game, completely unaware.

Not only had Ratchet stuck up posters with snazzy catchphrases such as, 'Hang in there!', 'Keep moving forward!', and 'Don't stop believing!', but now a disco ball was reflecting light all over the base. Not only that, but Optimus Prime, Ratchet, and Wheeljack were dancing for all to see.

"Welcome to the Autobot party, my friend," Ratchet greeted him cheerfully. "May peace shine on you everyday of your life."

"What the-" Agent Fowler's mouth had gone slack. "What happened to them? Decepticon weapon? Some kind of permanent mind-melder?"

"High-grade Energon," Jack interrupted him. "Better known as alcohol. They'll recover. Eventually."

"_You are the dancing queen!_" Optimus sang as Ninja Arcee came in and started dancing as well. "_Young and sweet, only seventeen. Dancing queen, feel the beat. From the tambourine, oh yeah._"

Agent Fowler, still stunned, was unaware when Bumblebee snatched him up, buzzing in a sinister voice and cackling madly. He had repainted himself silver and had crudely taped a blaster to his arm.

"Bumbletron says he's going to put you in the brig now," Raf didn't look up. "Then he'll get Bulkscream to interrogate you with an electric prod."

"Wait, what?" Agent Fowler only heard some of it when Bumblebee carried him away.

"_You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em,_" Optimus, having tuned in to his radio, picked up a new song. "_Know when to walk away and know when to run. You never count your money when you're sitting at the table. There'll be time enough for counting when the dealing's done._"

Unfortunately, that was when two hiding figures decided to laugh and every head turned in that direction.

"Scrap," Rumble cursed from his hiding place. When Frenzy knocked into him, they both stumbled out. They noticed the 'bots looking at them and hopped up.

"It's not what it looks like!" they chorused at once. "I mean, we weren't spying on you or anything. Stop that." They snapped at each other.

"Look," Prime waved a hand at Rumble. "It's Decepticon sparklings."

"Excuse me? We're not sparklings!" Rumble protested.

"Yeah! This is our normal size," Frenzy added, to which Rumble smacked him sharply. "Ow. What was that for?"

"You're not helping,"

"I like sparklings," Ratchet decided. He headed for them. "Come here kiddies. Let papa Ratchet love you."

"Oh no," Frenzy saw what was coming. He began to run in a frenzied (no pun intended-well, maybe just a little) panic. "How do we get out of here?"

Rumble grabbed his brother by the shoulders and slapped him, enunciating his words with each slap. "Pull-yourself-together!"

"Thanks, I needed that," Frenzy nodded, right before Rumble slapped him again. "Now that was just uncalled for."

Then Ratchet, whom the two had apparently forgotten about, snatched them up, cuddling them tightly.

"I just love my little sparklings!" Ratchet cooed. "Who loves you? Ratchet does. Yes he does."

"Let us go you old codger," Rumble kicked the medic. "It's like kicking titanium. What's he made of?"

"My worst nightmare," Frenzy whimpered, "come to life."

Somehow the two managed to slip from Ratchet's grip and hightail it to the exit.

"You 'bots are all crazy!" Frenzy screamed at them before they got away. "All of you are fragging insane!"

"_Crazy, but that's how it goes,_" Optimus seemed to agree. "_Millions of people living as foes. Maybe it's not too late, to learn how to love. And forget how to hate._"

"Amen!" Ratchet agreed.

"I think we found the culprits," Miko had noticed the two Decepticons fleeing. "Something tells me they won't be coming back for a long time."

~.~.~.~.~.

"Excellent," Megatron smiled after Rumble and Frenzy gave their report. "And you managed to acquire the footage?"

"Yeah, boss," Rumble handed him the tape. "If you don't mind me asking, what'cha gon' do with it?"

"There's a primitive site on this human world I wish to exploit," Megatron waved at Soundwave. "Soundwave, if you would?"

Soundwave uploaded the video to the computer and typed a bit. Soon the video was now on a familiar website.

"This 'YouTube' will make sure the Autobots never crawl out of their hole again, out of shame," Megatron laughed. Just for fun, he started the video to watch it, right as Breakdown came in.

"Lord Megatron?" Breakdown sounded dreamy.

"Can Airachnid have a few weeks off?"

"Why?" Megatron didn't bother to look at him.

"Because she's expecting,"

"Yes, that's charming. She can have however long she likes off," Megatron ushered to the door. "Now leave."

"Of course," Breakdown left.

"Uh, boss," Rumble started.

"Nope," Frenzy shook his head. "What the boss don't know won't kill him. C'mon, let's go check out Knockout's pretty pink paintjob." The two looked at Soundwave, who nodded, before heading out.

Soundwave watched the video alongside Megatron, a smile spreading across his face.

Oh yes. The Autobots may have won the battle, but the Decepticons had truly won the war.

The Internet War.

**((My favorite part was Ratchet with the twins.**

**Oh, and if you want me to continue about Breakdown and Airachnid expecting, then tell me in a review. This is officially an AU due to none of this actually happening in the show.))**


	2. Whatever Happened to Agent Fowler?

**((This is a one-shot follow up to the events of "Autobot Party". I was kind of wondering what happened to Agent Fowler after Bee took him away, so that's what this is. By the way, some of the events were inspired by _Out of His Head. _So enjoy.**

**WHATEVER HAPPENED TO AGENT FOWLER?**

_**DISCLAIMER:**_**I don't own Transformers Prime :(, Barney, Pina Colatas, or creepy laughs. Enjoy.))**

For the second time in his life, Agent Fowler found himself hanging from the ceiling via chains.

He hadn't even known the Autobots had a brig, or one that looked so identical to the Decepticons'. He had no idea where everyone was, or if they even knew where he was.

The door slid back and the silver-clad Bumblebee stalked in, glaring at him. Following close behind was Bulkhead, painted a darker silver, and with obviously fake wings on his back.

Bumblebee paced around him, before pushing his face in Fowler's and beeping.

"I'm sorry, I don't speak robot," Fowler clarified.

"Lord Bumbletron has wished for me to inform you that he grows irritated of your antics," Bulkhead translated. "He wants for you to tell him the location of the Autobot base immediately."

"Uh, okay," Fowler made a note to ask his superior to confiscate all high-grade. "You realize you're in the base, don't you?"

Bumblebee buzzed angrily, turning to look at Bulkhead.

"He says for you to not play games with us," Bulkhead continued, a sinister tone in his voice. "Or you will suffer."

"I get it, Energon prod, big whoop," Fowler sighed. "Lay it on me."

"Not that kind of torture," Bulkhead smirked. "Lord Bumbletron, he is not cooperating. Can we move onto Plan B?"

Bumblebee held up a hand and leveled his taped on arm blaster at Fowler's head. He said something that didn't need translation.

"I'm not telling," he clammed up, realizing they were so drunk they wouldn't listen even if he did tell them the truth.

Bumblebee looked at Bulkhead, did his version of a smile, and gestured.

"Oh thank you Master," Bulkhead seemed too happy. "I've got the perfect idea. You'll love watching this, flesh bag."

Minutes later, the two had managed to set up a screen.

"A movie? That's it?" Fowler was unimpressed.

"You'll have to try a lot harder than that."

That was when Bulkhead, with a sickening grin, turned it on. The purple and green dinosaur was painfully familiar to Fowler, and surfaced bad memories he didn't want to remember.

"Please no," he begged. "For the love of God, no Barney. I'll tell you."

Bumblebee did that grin again. "Start talking," he hissed in a voice that sounded eerily like Megatron's.

"You're in the base," Fowler said quickly. "You're all drunk, and you don't realize it, but you aren't really Decepticons."

"Nice try," Bumblebee started the show back up. "But you can't deceive a Decepticon. Bulkscream, watch the prisoner."

"_If you like pina colatas,_" Optimus warbled from outside.

"Of course, Lord Bumbletron," Bulkscream nodded as Bumblebee stalked out. Fowler's head was tilted and forced to look at the screen, the hours rolling by…

~.~.~.~.~.

Five hours later, almost everyone had sobered up, and went looking for Fowler.

They found him in a storage room, hanging from the ceiling, staring at a screen with one eye twitching. Bulkhead was passed out near him, one fake wing having fallen off.

"Bulk," Arcee shook him.

"Huh? What?" Bulkhead shot awake, weapons online. "What? Oh, Arcee, Optimus, Ratch. What happened?"

"It appears the Decepticons decided to get even," Arcee groaned. "I don't even remember half of today."

"For your sake, don't watch the news," Ratchet added. "I learned that lesson the hard way."

"Agent Fowler," Optimus snapped his fingers in front of the man's face. "Are you alright?"

"_I love you,_" he sang softly. "_You love me, we're best friends as friends can be._"

"What happened to him?" Bulkhead asked.

"Bumblebee. Thought he was Megatron. Interrogated me. Barney. Five hours. Of Barney. The horror. The horror," the agent got out before he passed out.

"Hopefully Bee's sobered up by now," Bulk remarked.

"Wait a minute," Ratchet remembered something. "Bumblebee didn't drink any Energon. He'd had some earlier."

"But if Bumblebee didn't get drunk," Arcee was slowly connecting the dots. "Then what-"

That was when the lights flickered out and a dark and creepy voice laughed ominously.

"We have a problem," Optimus summed it up.

**((If you wonder how Bee was able to talk, remember in _Out of His Head _when Megatron was saying through Bee's body that 'Bee couldn't hear Raf anymore, and I assumed that Raf could hear it as regular speech. Yeah, so if I got that wrong, sorry.**

**Dun dun dun! What is really wrong with Bumblebee? Find out in the INTERNET WARS, the possible sequel to all of this stuff. Suggest ideas for the INTERNET WARS of how I should torture people (besides Barney), and I may write it.))**


End file.
